so ends that day

 on my playlist: 

the call :: regina spektor 

the last goodbye :: billy boyd

alice's theme :: danny elfman

the show :: lenka

runnin :: adam lambert

i see fire :: ed sheeran

underground :: david bowie 

it may be too soon to be looking back on 2014 (seeing as its only just 2015 yet), but all the same, i think its fitting to begin the year with retrospect.

often, i like to put a word to each year. some of my years are of growth, some are of pain, some have been shattering like something fragile dropped, and some have been of healing.
but i think, 2014 has been a year of hatching.
i have found my footing in ways that i didn't know i was unstable on.
i have found insecurities and awakened to my own inner beauty
i have found out about the world beyond my nest

in no way am i fully ventured out, but the awakening is there. i would like to think, in 2014, i hatched and perhaps, in 2015, i will fly. 

things done in 2014 that had never been done before: 

turned 18  

i ventured from home to work as a nanny for a few months.

i visited an out of state friend for a weekend (and it was amazing)

i graduated (but i still feel far from finished with learning)

i looked at the person in the mirror and realized she isnt such an ugly duckling after all

i sang before people. sure my hands trembled and my voice stumbled. but i did it.

i took an art class and found myself in ink and art

touched a harp (shhh im now that much closer to playing one)

 was mary in a live nativity scene (haha i had jeans on under my robe)

volunteered on a regular basis

embraced the things that make me different because what fun is a black and white world? i would rather be the splash of color that stand apart, even if that means i am not the same person as i would have liked to have been. 

in many ways, this year has been quiet. it has been that place where everything stills before things begin.  my life has seen changes and movement, but all the same, i want to believe that 2015 will be the year where things begin, where, as i said, my wings develop and i take new challenges to the sky, reaching a new level of life.

i dont 'do' new years resolutions, but i do have a list of things i would like to see myself achieve. small, trinkety personal goals. nothing great or life changing.

• i would like to see myself get back into reviewing books.  i actually really miss doing that (and getting free books...)
• i would like to wear more heels. it may be a trivial object, but when you are standing there, two inches underneath your heels, you, or maybe just me, suddenly feel as if you could take on the world, and no one can look down on you, because you are the queen. heels just give me self confidence, and as a self confessed wall flower, that can be a powerful feeling. 
• actually finish a book. this goes without saying why.
• write more letters (who would like to join me?)
• read more books
• do more things
• eat more cheesecake

so here is to a new year, full of new, unwritten stories, new people and new thoughts.
heres to new struggles, new things to cry over and laugh over, new opportunities,  new ways to stretch wings, and new reasons to smile.

i can only really wish one thing
that this year can only bring happiness, whether goals are achieved or not.