how the time flies

 so today is the final day of two thousand thirteen. Oh this year of the future comes to an end. 

how bloody even. 

wasn't yesterday just january? didn't i just welcome in the new year? 

i sit here in a stupor, not sure how it can possibly be the end to 2013, not sure how i feel about the end of another year.  

not sure how i feel about 2013, but i know how i feel about 2014. 

This was the year I purposed to live, to become.  i dont know if i did. i do not know how i went through this year, since it was all a blur of colors and seasons. 

im feeling impossibly fragmented in time. 

 for me, this year is slipping away into the night (old friend, why are you so shy? ain't like you to hold back or hide from the light), quietly departing without so much as a wave or kiss.  there is no thunder of fireworks bursting with ringing song inside my soul, there is no grand countdown in my heart, there is only a whisper of tomorrow. 

2013 is making a meek departure, 2013 is allowing sister 2014 to take the center light.

and in the foolishness of my heart, i want to continue to hold on to this year, i want its lazy delight to last forever, because even though i am so entirely in love with what 2014 and it's promise of tomorrow holds, because only yesterday was the time of our lives, and while tomorrow's tomorrows will be beautiful and daring, a breath of wind tossed air and a cry of something new and exciting, 

im holding 2013 with tight fingers, and asking, "must you leave so soon?" 

because for me, it isn't over. 

Must you leave so very very soon?

but it seems i must let go, i must take a forward step into the adventuring light that twenty fourteen has glimmering about it, i must allow twenty thirteen to fade away as a memory, i cannot hold on to the comfort of familiar things forever. 

so, i blow you a kiss, 2.0.1.3. i wave to you, i allow you to slip away as you desire, i wish nothing but the best for you and me.  but now, you and me can no longer be in the same breath. you shall move to the past, and i to the future. 

my dreams will come true, my life will take turns, exciting hazy dizzy turns, and you will waver as the year that i found nothing dramatic, nothing grand, but everything slow and beautiful.   

you were an art piece, you were a dramatic nothing, a slow pause in life so i could catch my breath before diving into the cold waters of the unknown. 

thank you::goodbye.