baby, he isn't a monster (EVERYONE READ THIS HERE POST. NOW. IT'S IMPORTANT)

“Damaged people are dangerous. They know they can survive.” 

- Josephine Hart 

The year is 2053, and Eva Stewart is a promising young scientist assigned to a remote Alaskan facility. Here she will work for WorldCure, a global organization dedicated to finding the cure for fatal diseases. Soon she is made a Handler and designated her own Subject for research and experimentation. However, Thirteen is not what she expected, and Eva is soon drawn into a horrific plot kept quiet by WorldCure. As everything she thought she knew collapses around her, Eva must discover the truth behind her Subject, her beliefs…and herself.

when did this start? I cannot even remember when I got the first chapter in my email as a Beta reader, but I do remember the feeling. 

the crying. 

the sobbing. 

the oh someone please help me because of feels reasons.

i thought my heart was breaking, even at the first chapter.  I probably called Mirriam "Moffat" and other rude names, such as "Mean Mommie".
i thought, at that first chapter, my heart was breaking.
ha. what did i know.
by the end of monster, by the time she sent my the dreaded last chapter (it was over? no. no...i refused to believe it) my heart was never the same again.
by the time she finished, by the time i read the final word (the last word, is "wasn't" for those who wonder...) i was a mess emotionally.

there are three books in this world that have evoked a depression just by finishing them.

• 1: Phantom of the Opera
• 2: The Fault in our Stars
• 3: Monster

and, in case i thought, "this pain will lessen over time" nope nope nope. i was wrong.
all it takes is for me to reread anything from it, or listen to the theme song's music video, and, i turn back into a sobbing ball of emotions that curls up like a hedgehog to protect itself.

how do i put the phenomena that is monster into words? how do i describe it in ways that simple mortal minds can comprehend? (ok, not really...yes really...) how do i...even?

i thought about writing a review like i do for all other books, but i can't. i can't in the same way you cannot stuff a shooting star into a light bulb and try to capture it's brilliance.
i couldn't write a review for The Fault in Our Stars either, nor Phantom of the Opera.
if i cannot write an outright review, a review saying "this is this and that is that and this is how many stars it has", than know this, the book is too stunning to be fit into such a mold of words.
at least by me.

Monster is dear and near to my heart, i feel like i got to watch it 'grow up'. i knew of a few plot twists before they happened (didn't mean it lessened the pain of when they did occur...), i was there at the start, and i survived to the end.
i'm quite proud of surviving.

Monster is brilliance.
Mirriam is brilliance.

It is one of those few books that are perfect, and sweet, and innocent while being about topics that are not so.

the right to choose who is human, who deserves to live, and who has no right to life since they aren't human.

it's about souls, and the people who own them.

it's about fighting for your beliefs.

it's also about feels.


 Now. enough raving and letting my emotions talk, time for business (no, not an outright review, since i cannot write a real review, as i told you. not now. maybe someday, but now, it is emotionally impossible for me to do that. maybe when i have the book in my hands i will....i owe it to mirriam...).

on June 15th, Monster is coming out to be bought on Amazon and select bookstores! which means, you mortals can feel the pain i felt. and i can laugh at you while holding the broken pieces of my own heart.

meanwhile, here, have some Monster link dump:

Mirriam's blog (i'm going to be nice to you right now. because i pity you all for the pain you shall soon experience....here is the monster tag on her blog. scroll through it, and you can see more monster stuffs....don't tell her i gave it to you, shhhh) and Monster's page on her blog.
 go HERE to read an interview Mirriam did for the release of Monster.
And, if you love me, you'll visit/like Mirriam's author facebook page.
as well as Mir/Monster's facebook page, where, you can get updates for the sequel (!yes! sequel! I've already been allowed a mini sneak peak, and...wow. ouch. my heart already hurts...).

also, on June 15th, the release day, Mirriam is planning on having an Amazon blitz, where, basically, she tries to get as many sales for Monster as possible on the release day.  Lets do this for Mirriam, please? everyone?

now, for the big big big big happy news (well....not bigger than the wholeness of all this news...but...eh hem. anyway. continuing..)
you want to hear it?
of course you want to hear it! 

On June 14th, on Mirriam's blog, there will be a very special giveaway! And you know you love giveaways.  So, be sure to keep your beautiful eyes open for that, ok? ok.
(i wasn't going to tell you what is being given away...but...well, i'll give you a hint, k? it's something from Avalyn Designs, and something i love and something symbolic to Monster. thats all i'm saying. nuthin else will you be able to pry from me. i dare you to try...)

so, if you love pain, if you love a stellar read, if you love crying and becoming a feels hedgehog, and if you love hating particular characters (can I get a bumper sticker that says, "Jude Harborn is a jerk", or "Doctor Ross deserves death"?) and, if you love me, or Mirriam, please, do please, look into Monster, and order yourself a little slice of pain (little? ha) on the 15th. you won't be sorry.
i promise. 

 meanwhile, i will be here. waiting. waiting ever so impatiently patient for the minute i can click "buy now" and run around the house laughing shrilly because Monster is on it's (i nearly said 'his' ehehehehehe) way to my mailbox.

now that you have read this post, you better buy the book, or i shall scold you.