baby, he isn't a monster (EVERYONE READ THIS HERE POST. NOW. IT'S IMPORTANT)

“Damaged people are dangerous. They know they can survive.” 

- Josephine Hart 

The year is 2053, and Eva Stewart is a promising young scientist assigned to a remote Alaskan facility. Here she will work for WorldCure, a global organization dedicated to finding the cure for fatal diseases. Soon she is made a Handler and designated her own Subject for research and experimentation. However, Thirteen is not what she expected, and Eva is soon drawn into a horrific plot kept quiet by WorldCure. As everything she thought she knew collapses around her, Eva must discover the truth behind her Subject, her beliefs…and herself.

when did this start? I cannot even remember when I got the first chapter in my email as a Beta reader, but I do remember the feeling. 

the crying. 

the sobbing. 

the oh someone please help me because of feels reasons.

i thought my heart was breaking, even at the first chapter.  I probably called Mirriam "Moffat" and other rude names, such as "Mean Mommie".
i thought, at that first chapter, my heart was breaking.
ha. what did i know.
by the end of monster, by the time she sent my the dreaded last chapter (it was over? no. no...i refused to believe it) my heart was never the same again.
by the time she finished, by the time i read the final word (the last word, is "wasn't" for those who wonder...) i was a mess emotionally.

there are three books in this world that have evoked a depression just by finishing them.

• 1: Phantom of the Opera
• 2: The Fault in our Stars
• 3: Monster

and, in case i thought, "this pain will lessen over time" nope nope nope. i was wrong.
all it takes is for me to reread anything from it, or listen to the theme song's music video, and, i turn back into a sobbing ball of emotions that curls up like a hedgehog to protect itself.

how do i put the phenomena that is monster into words? how do i describe it in ways that simple mortal minds can comprehend? (ok, not really...yes really...) how do i...even?

i thought about writing a review like i do for all other books, but i can't. i can't in the same way you cannot stuff a shooting star into a light bulb and try to capture it's brilliance.
i couldn't write a review for The Fault in Our Stars either, nor Phantom of the Opera.
if i cannot write an outright review, a review saying "this is this and that is that and this is how many stars it has", than know this, the book is too stunning to be fit into such a mold of words.
at least by me.

Monster is dear and near to my heart, i feel like i got to watch it 'grow up'. i knew of a few plot twists before they happened (didn't mean it lessened the pain of when they did occur...), i was there at the start, and i survived to the end.
i'm quite proud of surviving.

Monster is brilliance.
Mirriam is brilliance.

It is one of those few books that are perfect, and sweet, and innocent while being about topics that are not so.

the right to choose who is human, who deserves to live, and who has no right to life since they aren't human.

it's about souls, and the people who own them.

it's about fighting for your beliefs.

it's also about feels.


 Now. enough raving and letting my emotions talk, time for business (no, not an outright review, since i cannot write a real review, as i told you. not now. maybe someday, but now, it is emotionally impossible for me to do that. maybe when i have the book in my hands i will....i owe it to mirriam...).

on June 15th, Monster is coming out to be bought on Amazon and select bookstores! which means, you mortals can feel the pain i felt. and i can laugh at you while holding the broken pieces of my own heart.

meanwhile, here, have some Monster link dump:

Mirriam's blog (i'm going to be nice to you right now. because i pity you all for the pain you shall soon experience....here is the monster tag on her blog. scroll through it, and you can see more monster stuffs....don't tell her i gave it to you, shhhh) and Monster's page on her blog.
 go HERE to read an interview Mirriam did for the release of Monster.
And, if you love me, you'll visit/like Mirriam's author facebook page.
as well as Mir/Monster's facebook page, where, you can get updates for the sequel (!yes! sequel! I've already been allowed a mini sneak peak, and...wow. ouch. my heart already hurts...).

also, on June 15th, the release day, Mirriam is planning on having an Amazon blitz, where, basically, she tries to get as many sales for Monster as possible on the release day.  Lets do this for Mirriam, please? everyone?

now, for the big big big big happy news (well....not bigger than the wholeness of all this news...but...eh hem. anyway. continuing..)
you want to hear it?
of course you want to hear it! 

On June 14th, on Mirriam's blog, there will be a very special giveaway! And you know you love giveaways.  So, be sure to keep your beautiful eyes open for that, ok? ok.
(i wasn't going to tell you what is being given away...but...well, i'll give you a hint, k? it's something from Avalyn Designs, and something i love and something symbolic to Monster. thats all i'm saying. nuthin else will you be able to pry from me. i dare you to try...)

so, if you love pain, if you love a stellar read, if you love crying and becoming a feels hedgehog, and if you love hating particular characters (can I get a bumper sticker that says, "Jude Harborn is a jerk", or "Doctor Ross deserves death"?) and, if you love me, or Mirriam, please, do please, look into Monster, and order yourself a little slice of pain (little? ha) on the 15th. you won't be sorry.
i promise. 

 meanwhile, i will be here. waiting. waiting ever so impatiently patient for the minute i can click "buy now" and run around the house laughing shrilly because Monster is on it's (i nearly said 'his' ehehehehehe) way to my mailbox.

now that you have read this post, you better buy the book, or i shall scold you.

In which there is too much

Inigo Montoya: Let me 'splain.

[pause]

Inigo Montoya: No, there is too much. Let me sum up. Buttercup is marry' Humperdinck in a little less than half an hour. So all we have to do is get in, break up the wedding, steal the princess, make our escape... after I kill Count Rugen. 

I've been as bad as can be when it comes to posting, aren't I? or...haven't I? sorry, wrong phrasing. Aren't isn't right, haven't is. 

back to my point, eh hem. 

It hasn't been that I've had nothing to post, as I've had plenty, nor is it lack of time, as I've had plenty of that too.  I just...haven't.  

And so now, I sit down to make a post.

Now, when I'm about to leave for a photoshoot, and really should be packing my equipment, I sit my rear in a chair and begin a blog post which will include so very many things. 

I really need to get better at blogging daily....

So, there is really too very much to explain in any way other than in list form, and I simply love lists, so pleasing to my ocd, and so crisp, and organized, and perfect, and...yeah. you get the point. I have an obsession with lists.   

Photoshoot with Katy 

 So, my photography business (I really wouldn't call it a business quite yet...) has really been taking off, and it started with this lovely lady: 

She was such an amazing, and stellar, and beautiful person to...shoot. Not with a gun, good gracious, what do you take me for?  But with a camera. duh. ;)
Her pictures turned out so well, and it was quite a lot of fun getting to know her a little better, and, did I mention she is beautiful?

 Meeting Mirriam
Where do I even start?  That Mirriam (From Thoughts of a Shield Maiden) is amazing beyond all amazings? That she is so beautiful? That she is even more fun in person than over the WWW? That she is just fantastic?  
She is a very Sugarcalafragiclistic soul.

 We finally, finally, finally got to meet after knowing each other over the web for...a year? wow, only a year? O_O I'm pretty sure we've known each other all our lives, just didn't know it yet. 
We met at Books a Million, and spent two hours just talking about literally everything.  And, we could still have kept talking for days, in fact, we did. Only, it was over facebook. Finally, we are just beginning to not spend ridiculous amounts of hours chatting away.  
But, just look at her, will you? 
I know such pretty people. 
 

Volunteer Work
I've began volunteering at a local Woman's Pregnancy center that helps girls and woman who decide to not go through with an abortions. It offers monetary, spiritual, and mothering care, and is doing such an impact on our society.   
Technically, I can't start officially volunteering with the woman that come in until I'm 18, so I've been cleaning the facility once a week (Saturdays) for them.  It's nice to be able to do something for a nonprofit orginization that has the same views as I do, and while cleaning may not be much, it's something. 

Photoshoot with Joanna:

 And another photoshoot! 
This girl, srsly, I adore her too. 
We had so much fun during her photoshoot, even if we were battling with the rain for most of the shots, and I had to continually clean all the sky water off of my lens, and both of our pants got wet, and it was freezing, it was fun.  And her pictures turned out SO VERY WELL. Rain might be annoying, but I remain firm on my favorite days for photography are the overcast ones.    

The Fault in Our Stars

As you probably noted in my last post, I read John Green's 'A Fault In Our Stars'. I'm still trying to decide why I even ventured to read that book, and what drew me to it, aside from the fact that my Tea Spitters group spoke of it highly and lowly.  But, the moment I saw it at Books A Million (strategically placed near the front door....I saw it, and made a beeline, and refused to put it down for anything to do anything) I knew it would be coming home with me.
what I didn't know, was the sheer amount of pain I was bringing home with me.
I think, from here on, only GIFS can express what my heart did:

There was so much pain, I literally, truthfully cried, and pulled at my hair, and buried my face in a pillow and shook my fist at John Green.

I also hated him for two days, but I couldn't stay hating him.  Who can hate such a genius? Even if he is the Moffat of the Book world...

This book didn't just hurt my feels, it almost hurt physically....in a, nonphysical sort of pain....O_o Fangirls will understand.

This was me for...oh, I dunno...two hours. But, as I couldn't stay like that all day (or I would've)...

 

This was me for the rest of those 48 hours, or rather, the 48 hours I couldn't sleep.  But inside, I was going:

So, thats the story of a girl who will never be the same anymore because of a little book with such a cheery blue cover. 

It's deceptive. 

It isn't cheerful at all.

And, Do I recommend TFioS? 

Well, that answer will be a little harder to pin down.  As much as I loved, loved, LOVED LOVED, The Fault in our Stars, (again, only fangirls will understand the hatred you can have for something you adore) it did have a scene that was a little...eh. Thankfully, Mr. Moffat Green did it as tastefully as such a scene can be done, but I was still biting my tongue during it and having conflicted feelings for such a scene.  I'd much have preferred if Augustus and Hazel could've shown each other how much they loved each other without having intimacy.  But, this isn't an actual review, I'll get to that some other day. ;)

Writing 
And writing! I wish I could say I've been writing lots of brilliant things, but it's more like I've been writing small amounts of "wut" things...and I really need to get a step on the writing ball, as, if my count is correct, I am now writing 7 novels, and have finished none.  
Sure, writing isn't all about finishing, but it sure would be nice to actually have a finished manuscript for once....

So, once it all comes down to it, I do suppose there hasn't been a total amount of busy in my life...but, more like laziness. :P 
However, I shall get netter at blogging, I must, as my five year blogging anniversary is approaching, and eeeek! what shall I do for it? 
I've only got 63 days to think up something smart and witty, and fun, or otherwise, Cheerio's Fifth birthday will go by like:

  and that is just will be it.

So, I suppose this is where I go,

Cheerio me ol' Cream Puffs!

-Ashley   

Meeting Grace And Emma.

{Warning: Lotsa pictures in this here post}

I got to meet two very lovely Ladies this Wednesday.
Grace from 'Love Poured Out' and Emma from 'Whimsical Chatter'.

Grace had contacted me a few weeks ago, informing me they would be coming into Alabama, and wondering if there was a way we could meet up. To be honest, I pretty much knew my parents were going to say no. But, after talking with them they were all gungho for it! (Long story, I told Daddy, then he forgot, and not wanting to be pushy, I kept waiting, then, finally, a week before when we had hoped to meet, I brought the topic up again, and got the affirmative).  It really surprised, and excited me, as you can well imagine. 

Me and Grace worked out the details, such as where we'd meet, what time, the day, and then we waited. It was only a couple days, but shooo, those were some of the hardest waiting I've ever done!

We had settled on meeting at a Golden Corral in Destin, which was a good location, since Destin was pretty much right in between both of us.

They got there before us, since one of our littles (Yes! All of us went! Which also surprised me. I had imagined only me and Daddy would probably end up going, if I did)  gets car sick easily, and we had to stop to let her take a breather.  and when we had pulled up, gotten out of the van, and ya know, settled the little girls. (Hair, socks, shoes...all those things go berserk on them when being in a vehicle for more than 30 minutes) they started walking towards them.

 

I did not squeal. But I wanted to. Badly. Instead, I behaved like a well raised Young Adult, and just ran towards them, and hugged them all. ;-D

 

 

 

We chatted, and ate, and then headed out to the Beach. As, I was to find out, Destin has some of the most beautiful beaches I have ever seen.

 

 A Pirate ship! floating around! Daddy (He goes to Destin quite frequently) says it gives rides.... ermergersh. I want a ride on a pirate ship oh so badly....

 Grace will probably Internet strangle me for posting these canon pictures I've got of her.... But, to hopefully appease her, "Grace, if you've got any pictures of me, you may also post them". Cringing? Me? Cringing? Nah...ok...maybe a little bit....

 Oye! I think we have a castaway!

 I do enjoy taking pictures of sea birds...its therapeutic to sneak up on them. I could positively do it all day.

 And wave pictures. Thats also calming. Forget the sound of waves...All I need is a camera and the action of waves.

 It was so fun seeing how well our parents got along!

 And, My little Sisters had a blast with Beth, and I'm assuming it's the same vis versa...but I'm just assuming. ;-)

 that look. XD

 See how clear the water is? It was the most beautiful water I have ever seen. Destin's beaches are now my favorite beaches in the world. And, seeing how I'm not a beachy person....thats saying a lot that I actually loved this one.

 Grace faces the world of Water. XD

 Beth and Emma.

 Another Canon moment with Grace Anna!

 I'm getting more daring with my wave pictures, holding the camera still until there is only a macro second before it gets splashed...
I'm going to ruin my camera.

 Ashley restrained herself, and did not step on the dunes, nor picked the weedy things. The state protects them, and It is oh so tempting to pick and step on the things...but I wont. I wont. I wont. I wont. (Keep repeating it, and it shall drive the temptation from my head, I'm sure...)

 

 

Yes. I had A LOT of fun with Grace and Emma. Both are very sweet girls.

 

And, oh, I knew I was forgetting something...

 

 Proof of our in fact meeting!

Pardon the wet and drippy looking me, I couldn't change, as the bathrooms had been shut out already, but oh well. XD 

 Me and Grace.

Me and Emma.

 

 

And their whole beautiful family. ^.^

 

It really was a blast, I hope to someday get to visit with them again.

*kiss kiss hug hug*

 

OH.

Totally off topic, but all living people need to see THIS.