Catching Fireflies.

This is going to be a big post, an emptying of my heart, and a realization of the possibility of catching dreams. Are you sure you are ready?

I've always loved Owl City's Fireflies. But I never exactly knew what it meant. Since I'm the type her likes to look beyond the face of things, Fireflies, what did it mean? Was it literal? Was it hypothetical? Was it allegorical?  It wasn't until Last night, I fully understood what the 'Fireflies' where.

As many of you know, it has been a dear dream of mine to travel Europe, but mostly, see London. If the saying, "Home is Where the Heart is" Is true, then Home is London for me.  Mama doesn't fully understand, and I don't expect her to. I don't fully know why I love Great Britain and London. I think she sorta views my love for a country that's not my own as...unloyal, maybe.  I love America, but I, how do I explain it? I'll always be American. She will always be a part of me that I won't be able to shun or get rid of. But England is my chosen.

Derbyshire

I've always kinda had a view (subconsciously) That going to London would be the same as going to Narnia. A dream. Impossible. That I could wish my heart out, but I'd never get there.  Only Magical people could go to London, only fairy tale folk could travel to England.

Cornwall

Last night, however, a thunderbolt hit me.

England is a real place, and only an ocean seperates us.

" 'Only' an Ocean" scoffed my shoulder devil, "You'll never cross that".

"Whyever not?" My shoulder Angel retored

"Honey, haven't you seen the prices of plane tickets? Huh? No? Well, trust me, It's not a cheap little row"

"Don't be a pessimist, you can save up for it!"

"Save up for it? *evil laugh* When will you get there, when you're 30?"

"Better 30 then never".

At that moment, I wanted to go so bad, it hurt. I wanted to hug my shoulder angel, I wanted just to fly.  A flame was kindled, one that hasn't yet snuffed out, and it probably wont.

I realized that night, Dreams are more then words on our bucket lists, Dreams are more then fantasies we'll never grasp.

Dreams are the things I will do.

I dream of going to London. Of seeing big Ben. of getting my picture taken with the Sherlock Holmes statue, of being a true tourist there.

And so I shall.

I am now saving up every single penny (well, almost, I still have birthdays to buy gifts for. And I won't deny myself itunes) I scrap together. Even if it takes me until I'm 30 or gray. Even if I have to give up little things I'd like to have. Even if it means not doing NaNoWrMo because I wont be buying me a laptop. even if it means eye shopping when I go to the mall with my friends. I will do it. 

Guess what peoples? 

I'm buying a Plane ticket.

So, shut up little Shoulder demon. I'm doing this, and nothing will stop me.

True, I might have to get a job that involves working out in the hot, bloody sun, But, will it be worth it? 100%.

I'm going to print a picture of Big Ben to put in my wallet, so each time I open it, I'll be reminded of my dedication.  It will make me ask the question, "Is this worth a set back to London?".

And who knows? Maybe I'll get enough money for the ticket and traveling expenses quicker then I thought, and maybe I'll expand my trip. Maybe I'll visit Rome, and Paris, and Cork, and tour all of Europe.

Who knows. 

Maybe I'll never come back.

Oh, and the Fireflies? They are Dreams.

Before I die

Go to a Star Trek Convention

Make sure I get Tom Paris', Tores', Chakotay's, Picard's, Dr. Crusher's, Riker's, Captain Janeway's, Neelix's, Dianna Troi's and Tuvok's autographs.

Publish a NewYork Times best seller.

Learn to play an instrument.

Go to Space.

Tour Europe.

And through my life, my utmost goal, is to try to please but one being.

All this, I hope to do, Before I die.