baby, he isn't a monster (EVERYONE READ THIS HERE POST. NOW. IT'S IMPORTANT)

“Damaged people are dangerous. They know they can survive.” 

- Josephine Hart 

The year is 2053, and Eva Stewart is a promising young scientist assigned to a remote Alaskan facility. Here she will work for WorldCure, a global organization dedicated to finding the cure for fatal diseases. Soon she is made a Handler and designated her own Subject for research and experimentation. However, Thirteen is not what she expected, and Eva is soon drawn into a horrific plot kept quiet by WorldCure. As everything she thought she knew collapses around her, Eva must discover the truth behind her Subject, her beliefs…and herself.

when did this start? I cannot even remember when I got the first chapter in my email as a Beta reader, but I do remember the feeling. 

the crying. 

the sobbing. 

the oh someone please help me because of feels reasons.

i thought my heart was breaking, even at the first chapter.  I probably called Mirriam "Moffat" and other rude names, such as "Mean Mommie".
i thought, at that first chapter, my heart was breaking.
ha. what did i know.
by the end of monster, by the time she sent my the dreaded last chapter (it was over? no. no...i refused to believe it) my heart was never the same again.
by the time she finished, by the time i read the final word (the last word, is "wasn't" for those who wonder...) i was a mess emotionally.

there are three books in this world that have evoked a depression just by finishing them.

• 1: Phantom of the Opera
• 2: The Fault in our Stars
• 3: Monster

and, in case i thought, "this pain will lessen over time" nope nope nope. i was wrong.
all it takes is for me to reread anything from it, or listen to the theme song's music video, and, i turn back into a sobbing ball of emotions that curls up like a hedgehog to protect itself.

how do i put the phenomena that is monster into words? how do i describe it in ways that simple mortal minds can comprehend? (ok, not really...yes really...) how do i...even?

i thought about writing a review like i do for all other books, but i can't. i can't in the same way you cannot stuff a shooting star into a light bulb and try to capture it's brilliance.
i couldn't write a review for The Fault in Our Stars either, nor Phantom of the Opera.
if i cannot write an outright review, a review saying "this is this and that is that and this is how many stars it has", than know this, the book is too stunning to be fit into such a mold of words.
at least by me.

Monster is dear and near to my heart, i feel like i got to watch it 'grow up'. i knew of a few plot twists before they happened (didn't mean it lessened the pain of when they did occur...), i was there at the start, and i survived to the end.
i'm quite proud of surviving.

Monster is brilliance.
Mirriam is brilliance.

It is one of those few books that are perfect, and sweet, and innocent while being about topics that are not so.

the right to choose who is human, who deserves to live, and who has no right to life since they aren't human.

it's about souls, and the people who own them.

it's about fighting for your beliefs.

it's also about feels.


 Now. enough raving and letting my emotions talk, time for business (no, not an outright review, since i cannot write a real review, as i told you. not now. maybe someday, but now, it is emotionally impossible for me to do that. maybe when i have the book in my hands i will....i owe it to mirriam...).

on June 15th, Monster is coming out to be bought on Amazon and select bookstores! which means, you mortals can feel the pain i felt. and i can laugh at you while holding the broken pieces of my own heart.

meanwhile, here, have some Monster link dump:

Mirriam's blog (i'm going to be nice to you right now. because i pity you all for the pain you shall soon experience....here is the monster tag on her blog. scroll through it, and you can see more monster stuffs....don't tell her i gave it to you, shhhh) and Monster's page on her blog.
 go HERE to read an interview Mirriam did for the release of Monster.
And, if you love me, you'll visit/like Mirriam's author facebook page.
as well as Mir/Monster's facebook page, where, you can get updates for the sequel (!yes! sequel! I've already been allowed a mini sneak peak, and...wow. ouch. my heart already hurts...).

also, on June 15th, the release day, Mirriam is planning on having an Amazon blitz, where, basically, she tries to get as many sales for Monster as possible on the release day.  Lets do this for Mirriam, please? everyone?

now, for the big big big big happy news (well....not bigger than the wholeness of all this news...but...eh hem. anyway. continuing..)
you want to hear it?
of course you want to hear it! 

On June 14th, on Mirriam's blog, there will be a very special giveaway! And you know you love giveaways.  So, be sure to keep your beautiful eyes open for that, ok? ok.
(i wasn't going to tell you what is being given away...but...well, i'll give you a hint, k? it's something from Avalyn Designs, and something i love and something symbolic to Monster. thats all i'm saying. nuthin else will you be able to pry from me. i dare you to try...)

so, if you love pain, if you love a stellar read, if you love crying and becoming a feels hedgehog, and if you love hating particular characters (can I get a bumper sticker that says, "Jude Harborn is a jerk", or "Doctor Ross deserves death"?) and, if you love me, or Mirriam, please, do please, look into Monster, and order yourself a little slice of pain (little? ha) on the 15th. you won't be sorry.
i promise. 

 meanwhile, i will be here. waiting. waiting ever so impatiently patient for the minute i can click "buy now" and run around the house laughing shrilly because Monster is on it's (i nearly said 'his' ehehehehehe) way to my mailbox.

now that you have read this post, you better buy the book, or i shall scold you.

Bad news.

It's rising again. Daddy has come home for the night, to not only give the family we were staying with a break, but also let us have a bit of time with him.  But, Mama called and it has moved up a little more then one whole point.  Now it is at 15.9.  Not good.  They have put her back under the blue lights, and are debating giving her IVIG again.  This is really wearing us out. It is like a roller coaster, and it is making me sick.  :-(  I just want Shiloh home, I want to kiss her tiny, bald head, and I'm missing SO SO many photo shoot times!  My heart is just breaking for her little health.  It is wearing me out. 

 Little Miss under the blue UV lights.

See her poor IV line? They took it out tonight, and might just have to put another one back in.  See her little mask pulled up over her head? It is to protect her eyes from the UV lights.


Poor girl.  Just pray for us.  Pray for her.  Pray for the nurses and doctors to have wisdom to know what to do.


I appreciate it all!

Ashley

Fingers crossed

Her count is finally at 13!!  We got to visit Mama and Daddy at the hospital a few days ago, and hoepfully Shiloh can come home today...just keep up those awesome prayers!!

:-(

I just called my Dad, and he said that they wont be home tonight.  The docs want to see her billy count come down without the blue lights they are putting her under, and so dar it isn't doing that.

Keep us and them in your prayers guys/gals!  Thank you ever so much!! ♥♥  I own you all a very big giveaway with 78 prizes, so everybody wins!
  And maybe a thank-you card.  :)

16

Shiloh's billy count is at a 16 now...we're hopeing to get into single digits so they can come home today!  Maybe if it gets to a 10-14 they'll let them.  Also, can you keep Mama in your prayers, as this is starting to toll on her.  She hasn't seen us since Tuesday, and the whole tension of it all is upsetting her.  Thank you guys, I know I have an awesome followers on her!

Extra thanks to Jedi~chick, your comment helped me dicide to keep y'all posted.  Thanks Jedi~chick!

Good news!

Shiloh's count is back down to 17.1!!!  Prayers must be working!

A new blog is up and (sorta) running!

The Epic Reader!

I started my own book review blog, I'm hoping to someday be as great as Shaynie, but, as Joe of great expectations said, "To be a uncommon scholar, you must first be a common one".  SO, I will settle down for what I am- a new book reviewer with much ground to break.

But, if you will, go check out the epic reader, follow (if you so wish to) and soon I'll have a review up!

Houses, and moves and landlords..OH MY!

Ever felt like SO much has happened to you, it is just Impossible to fit in one respectable length blog post? If your answer is "yes" then you know how I feel, if you answer happens to be a "no" then You just need to wait until it happens to you! Here is that latest 'adventure' of our life!


Who likes a move? Who likes to be finely settled in your nice, spacious house, and your landlord decides he want it back?  Who? come'n...anybody?
So there you have it, our most recent predicament!
Mr. H. M. (Mr. Landlord) Drove up and said that he wants his daughter to move in, and we need to be out by 2/1/11, but his daughter (who is actually the real owner of the house, but her father tends to everything for her) said that if we cant find something, she can post pone it for April 2011. We had no idea WHAT we where going to do. Mama and Daddy had discussed moving to TN, but the timing isn't right,  maybe in a year or two. Daddy talked it over his boss (who used to be our neighbor and elder to the church we used to attend) and the president of Daddy's work (He is a elevator sales man) owns a house/office, (well, really it is a office, but the way it was built was that of an house, Shower, full kitchen, etc) and he said that We could move into that if nothing else came up. We checked it out, and decided it would work, and so Daddy talked it over to the President of the company, and the rent would be almost half of what we are paying now! The few hiccups are that since it was an office, there are 3 bathrooms, but only one shower (the boss had a stand up shower/sink off his office), There are 7 rooms, but they have a funny shape, from an aerial view, the building is a perfect hexagon! We have to share the area with a daycare, which will seem weird at first, seeing how we haven't had to deal with neighbors in almost 7 years! So, that being that, We will probably go with that, and start moving in as soon as possible. Again though, this isn't forever, (I have to remind myself that often, the kitchen is painfully small, bright side to it though, the coloring in the kitchen will make it possible for us to have a nice, retro, 50s kitchen design!) someday in the near future, will will probably find ourselfs in a U-haul headed toward Tennessee!

New life. August....how do they go together?

In one way...Birthdays.

Mama began on 18/8 (not tellin' what year..haahaa!)
Zeb began on 3/8 (this is sad, I think it is the third...oh well, you get the point, he is the August clown!)...

.
.
.
.

.
..

..
.
.
.

..
.
.
.
.
I'm gonna out this in caps, be prepared.....
.

.
.
.
.
.

..

.
.
.
.
.
I'M GOING TO HAVE ANOTHER BABY SIBLING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


........





New life, A new baby, in a 9 months, I'll be holding the Lil darling, be it boy or girl. (I am wanting a certain 'type' ~sounds like I'm ordering a product,~ but I'm not tellin' which until it is seen whether it will be it or not, you'll just have to wait. )


I'm so 'appy.


I might just go write a poem.