Dear August::The Beginning

Dear August: 

Long time no seen, hmm? 

So far, you've started off well, fair temperatures and rainy days, both my favorites. 

To be truthfully blunt, you aren't exactly my favorite month, you've never really been. Neither are you my absolute least favorite. And it's nothing personal, so don't get your feelings up in knots.  

It's just that you are the last month of summer, and while in summer practically lasts until November for us lower southern states, just the fact that Fall will be here in name makes me excited.  

To me, You are like the last piece of broccoli on a child's plate (merely an example as I adore veggies). 

You are pushed around, and wished to not exist. I just want you to hurry up and leave, so that Fall can arrive. but also, I am glad you are here. you are the last song that summer has to sing. 

And like the last piece of broccoli, thanks to you, I can see the end. 

But enough comparing you to Broccoli. 

You bear three of my family members birthdays, and when I think of your name, it's what I think. 

(not Broccoli. so calm down). 

Also, while writing your name, my breath caught in my throat in a ragged, stifled cry because just add a U and an S, and you say Augustus and that hurts deep. 

That name. 

That name. 

But here is my letter to you, let's try and get along and enjoy each others company since I've only seen you 17 times in my life (wow. that actually makes me feel really young) and it would be a true pity if you and I squabbled the whole 30 days you lasted this year. 

Things that last only 30 days shouldn't be squabbled with anyway; multiple reasons there. 

Enjoy your time here August, but also don't linger because I'd like my Fall as soon as possible. 

Sincerely, 

And so all good things come to pass...

“Hope
Smiles from the threshold of the year to come,
Whispering 'it will be happier'...” 

-Tennyson

I highly doubt so, Mr. Tennyson.

This year has been an amazing one for me. 

I might even be bold enough to state it was my best year every.

2012, the year our world ended, was the year my world began, in sort. 

In Two Oh One Two, I met so many people, made so many new friends, and discovered so many new things in life.

~I turned Sixteen this year, and began singing "Sixteen Going on Seventeen" whenever the urge hit me.  I began my cautious and timid activity of driving on "the big roads" (AKA: any road with a speed limit above 10MPH).

~I began my friendship with Mirriam, Grace and Emma, Sky, Grace, (yes, two Grace's! I confuse my family. lol) and  Autumn.

~I started and Finished NaNoWriMo.

~The tea spitters formed.

~I got more involved in my writing, and began to look on it differently.

~I became a Marvel girl.

~I became a proud child of two worlds, (Trekkie/Warsie).

~I discovered Instagram, and met a few more cyber friends through there. 

~I was blessed to meet Rane, and Mir, and Ariel, and Lynx, and Eva, Jade and Beck, and everyone else whose name is writ with ink. (Mirriam....you may gloat that more than half of the characters are yours..)

~'Shiny' became more than an Adjective to me.

~I discovered, on a whole, loads of new fandoms, and grew in my already loved fandoms.

If I had to sum this year up in one word, I'd use 'Growth'.  

Growth

 [grohth] 

noun

the act or process, or a manner of growing; development; gradual increase.

 

 

 

This year, I learned so much about myself, and people around me.  My eyes have been opened to things I, in a childlike state, was blissfully unaware of.   I have learned to accept myself, in a way, I've never felt before.  I now no longer care that I'm weird, or that my voice cracks a little when I sing 'Phantom of the Opera', or that I have a illness with no cure. I even, *gasp!* talk about my bursitis to friends and on the internet! Last year, 2011 and the years previous, I was afraid to show my talents.  

I was like a hidden chest, tucked safely under the ground. No one could get me there, in my safe hole in the hard ground.  But, neither could I bless the world.  And then, rain fell on me, and the ground is slowly washing away.  

I'm not about to sing in front of total strangers, I'm not there yet,  but I finally sing in front of my family.  You have no idea how much of an improvement that is for me.  

I have opened up my writing to a select few, while as, previously, no one read it, and no one dare ask.  

And, I learned new talents, met similar friends, and on a whole, was blessed for the cracking upon of my secret self.

No longer am I half dead manikin going through life with the movements.

My heart has grown to feel more deeply than I could have felt before, and has began the shedding of that dark, hard, outer crust.

Am I done growing? Nope. I hope to keep on growing until the day I die, and hopefully, maybe, help people grow too.

I know some people are really big on the whole 'Resolutions' thing. I'm not.  In the beginning of 2012, I made loads, and finished none.   It makes you feel really crummy when you set these goals, and can't reach them. 

But, I'm going to make one, and just one, resolution.

Live.

I want to walk to the edge of the proverbial cliff, and jump. To let myself fall even though I'm afraid of heights.   To live life to the very fullest, and let nothing hold me back. Live to face my fears, and live life as if there is no tomorrow, for who knows? Maybe there isn't.

I might even sky dive for real even though I am, literally, afraid of heights. anything more than 2 stories, and I get woozy and panic.

I want to thank, again, each person who made this my growing year:

Mirriam: 

  You were the first real cyber friend I truly made.  I'm still shocked that an awesome person as yourself found little ol me interesting. You, my dear, were one of the main reasons I began to crack open and truly be me.  Its hard to not be yourself when your talking to a person with such vigor for life, and who accepts herself as much as you do.  Truly, you were the best role model I could have had. 

-The ASLF.,DWNJKL;DQCDNBS-er

Grace/Fallon:

You, you crazy you, have been awesome.  Even though I knew of you before (I think) 2012, this year I really got to know you.  You might say it's my fault for getting you into Star Trek, Doctor Who, and Sherlock, and I will gladly take every and any blame.   But, you also helped me into Fandoms, or, rekindle, fandom love.  Les Miserable? Your fault.  I really look forward to getting to know you even better, and meeting you. T'is a pity we live so close, and yet have YET to meet.  If I hadn't said I was going to make only one resolution, I would add driving down to you to my list. And than, of course, thanks to you, I know River Song and the Doctor, which is...awesome.  I love your parents, ok?

-The One To Blame

Dear Sky: 

Thank you thank you thank you.

For fangirling over Vice with me (and his babies...that sounded awkward...XD) and for creating Rane so I can fangirl over him and his adorafeelable sons.  Thank you for Beautiful People, and for helping me embrace my Bursitis. I don't really know, though I hope it is so, if Spilled has helped any one else, but it has me. It's made me realize I'm not just an invalid, I'm a fighter.  

-Ash-o-lee

To ALL the Tea Spitters:

Thanks to you girls, I'm sharing my writing.  And thanks to you girls, I have a whole new vocabulary, such as "Slogging through Acorn Butter" "Peic" "Concenfocustrate" and, of course, "Closing my Fingers".

If it wasn't for you crazy crazing girls, NaNoWriMo would have been a lot less fun.  The word wars, the adorafeelable excerpt sharing, and all around friendship of you awesome Author Lassies, I don't know if I could have closed my fingers on NaNoWriMo.

-Swonker

Dear Grace and Emma:

Meeting you girls was the highlight of this summer.  Talking books, and life, and music, and everything in between was just...awesome.  I know your mom commented on me running to meet your family like y'all were super stars, but, in reality, you truly deserved it.  You, Grace, are such a beautiful, uplifting, person.  A breath of fresh water to my soul.

Wait....that means I would be drowning....

I breath or fresh AIR to my soul.

And Emma, keep growing beautiful.  Your smile, your laugh, and your ever bounding joy is just...heartening.

-The Florida Girl

Autumn:

You keep up your Cia thing, and I'm going to be hopelessly stuck in star wars' EU.  You are awesome, K?  I'm really excited about your move, and I'm hoping, beyond all hopes, to get to meet you, offically, and fangirl, and play Video games, because thats who we are.  And, we'll probably talk end on end about how awesome Grace is too...

I really need to talk to you more, as you are super fun.

Gah. Another mini 2013 Resolution...I guess it can't hurt, hmm?

-Ashley Amidala

And to all 177 Followers:

Do you realize how much of a blessing you are to me?  You listen when I babble, and comment on my insanity.  I fully realize blogging isn't about the followers, but it sure makes the experience 100% better.  Especially when I have such beeeaaauuuttiiifffuuulll followers as your lovely selves.

-CheeryO Author.

In a few hours, 2012 will pass into history, and 2013 will begin.  I'm looking towards this new  year with bitter sweet emotions.  I can only hope Twenty Thirteen keeps to the incredible stream Twenty Twelve has. 

So, for the last time this year,

Cheerio me old cream crackers.

“Tomorrow, is the first blank page of a 365 page book. Write a good one”

-Brad Paisley 

You are her Velveteen Rabbit

(I don't know where this came from, it just sorta did.  That's simply all I can say)

Dear Emi

She is insane, I hope you realize that.  You've gotten in a big mess when you signed up to deal with her.  She is crazy, and brilliant, but mostly just a wacky little authoress with a certian amount of random lucky brilliant streak.  But she will love you, she will adore you, and hold you close to her heart.  You will never find another flesh and blood person who holds you more real and more tenderly then she does.  She will stay up late, thinking up ways to help you come at on top.  She will give you crazy battles and struggles, but the love she pours on you; the way she smiles each time she spells your name, and the late night giggles as she writes your story....trust me. It's worth it.

The First Loved One,

Tarine.

Hey Vice,

Trust me, you are going to have it rough.  She always does it to her favorites.  The harder you have it, the more you can know she loves you.  It's an odd paradox, but strangely true.  I know it, and you'll discover it yourself.  Just be there, let her run her fingers through your soul, and she'll be happy.  She will close her eyes, and sigh deeply.  And she will fall hopelessly in love with you.  She will certainly come down hard on you, life might be unbearable, but just be glad she believes in happily endings.

The First Exiled Prince,

Miles.

Well, this is awkward,

Hi Chakra. I've never written a letter to a girl before, but it seems me and you are the 'similar ones'. So, uh, hi?  You might think me and you had it the easiest. But we actually don't. Ya see, I honestly think she doesn't believe in doing things good to us all the time.  Funny, the ways you and I are similar. If we could reach across our novels, I'm sure we'd be smashing friends.  But, to my point. Sometimes you might think you are just a stupid little girl who just doesn't grasp the whole big world, but, listen kid, you are made of tougher stuff.  And that gives you real spirit.  Me and you, we know how the world spins, and we stay light hearted and with a laugh in our mouth (Tarine informs me that didn't sound poetic in the least, crazy girl. Do you sometimes feel like Emi watches over your shoulder, always ready to correct every little error of yours?).  We know how bad people can be, and yet, we trust them anyway.  We get heart ache at each corner when our trust is misused, but we get up, and trust again. Why? Because, well, there are good people out there.  Folks like Emi, Tarine, Vice and Miles spend so much time guarding themselves against the bad people, they never see the good people. 

But we do, right, kid?

The First Lighthearted Companion,

Kip.

To The Honorable Guardian Melani

Stay in there, My dear.  I know how it is to deal with young girls who are much to ready to take the world on their own, or trying to escape the duty ahead of them. Tarine was quite a handful, but, Melani, learn to let go. They are often more ready then we give them credit for.  I, like you, sacrificed my life so my student could live.  It's the greatest sacrifice, I believe.  And, one they will never forget us for.

The First Teacher,

Maryah.

I realized when I reached my 14K mark wit my NaNo novel, the striking similarities between The Key to D'Lair and The Story of Emi.   

D'Lair was my pride and joy, I loved it like I loved no other novel at the time.  I coddled it, raised it, and watched as it crumbled into ashes in my fingers.  I gathered up the poor (ly written) remains, and buried them in a box in my desk.   And, I have always said, D'Lair will always remain a fond favorite.  I have also always said, pieces of D'Lair always find their way into my novels, whether I try to or not.  But, I realized just how closely D'Lair and TSO-Emi paralleled, and though I suspected it to bear signs of D'Lair's existance. I hadn't expected it to be this strong.

I had hoped to rewrite D'Lair someday, to give it a new, albeit very much different, life.  

But, I think it has gone, and rewritten itself for me, TSO-Emi is certainly the 'reincarnation' of D'Lair.

Yes. I'm supposed to be writing. But, I reached 15K today, I suspect I may be allowed a short little reprive, no?

Ok. Getting back to the grid iron of writing.

Just kidding, it's more like a double edged sword.

The Girl who adores her characters,

The Girl who is randomly brilliant,

The Girl who might freak people out if she said all that goes on between her and her characters,

Ashley.

Character Letters: A tearful begging

Via

  It's time for more Character Letters!! Oh golly goodness. Now, to start out with, I'm sure many of you are wondering, "Why is this silly girl talking of nothing but writing? Hasn't she got a writing blog?" That's a very good question. And, indeed I do have a writing blog.  But, I had the idea a few months ago to collapse both blogs into one (I have a lot of blogs, ok? From my RP Blog I share with some friends, to my Review Blog, to my Writing blog that shall probably be abandoned, I just don't have time to post on all of them, and Writerly just has the least repercussions should it be kicked off the list).  So, I'm just testing the waters now. Tell me if this is fine. I could lie, and say I really don't care about how many followers I have, or what they think, but, as hinted, that's a lie if I ever said one. 

Anyway, on to my character letters.
You should be well aware of who Emi and Vice are by this post, and if you aren't, go to The Post In Which I Talk About My NaNo Characters and meet them. Please do. It makes it less confusing for everyone.





                                
                           Dear Vice:
I'm sorry. I have no words for how much I regret the things I said, or the way I treated you. You deserved so much better than that.
I was so wrong about you, about Narls on a whole, and that ignorance that prompted me to act the way I did bites my soul bitterly.
You grew to be one of my dearest friends, and I pushed you away, no, I did worse. I said I would kill you if I saw your face again; I am so incredibly, woefully sorry. I wish I could say it was merely, "A Temper of the moment" but it wasn't. No, I remained hateful and bitter towards you and your race until I met Banji and Kimya, and they set me on the correct matter of Narls.
Here I sit now in Banji's house, I plan to set forth on my journey again. I must continue on to the next Guardian. But each step I take I shall miss you. For I did miss you even when I was hateful. I missed you terribly. Who knew you could hate and be heartsick for some ons all at once?
Each person I pass, I will wish it was you, so I could embrace you, Horns, scars, fangs and all, and tearfully beg you to forgive me.
I think, I think I love you, Vice. Is it even possible? And what would Mother say? (Emi would be ashamed if she knew I kept that part in there. She'd be ashamed to learn I shared this with you guys period...)
I write this letter, knowing well you will probably never receive it. If I knew where to send it, I would run there myself, but you have disappeared, just as I told you to.
I deeply regret that.
I promise, if you come back, I'll not kill you.

-Your Humbled Emi

  

  She probably wrote this on simple, rough paper.  A fire is crackling nearby, and Furgus, Banji's cat, is sitting on her knee, twitching with dreams of Mice and Milk.  Chakra is in the next room, snoring softly, though, she'll protest in the morning about her snoring.  Banji went to bed a long while ago, and Kimya went hunting. Yes, hunting. At night. 
After finishing her letter, drying the ink, gazing at it from arm's length, and frowning at the few tear droplets that happened to fall on it, she proceeded to toss it in the fireplace and go to bed herself.  It would be a most embarrassing moment should Chakra find it, and happen to read it.  Chakra being the busybody she is, wouldn't hesitate to read it from 'Dear Vice' to 'Your Humbled Emi' either. 
But, I found it, snatched it from the flames, and aside from a few darkened marks, it was nearly in perfect shape.  She'd be horrified to find out I shared it with all 171 of you. So,  lets keep this between ourselves, hmmm?


The letter snatching,
NaNo anticipating,
Plot Bunny and Wordcount Dragon owning (My dragon is named Peb, he is a cutie, and Soren is my bunny, I'll have to introduce you guys to them!)
Ashley.

Dear Peeps:

I got a request to continue my 'Dear Boys' by a certain friend.  In truth, I had wanted to start it up again, but each time Elise had posted the new round, I was busy, or just forgot.  Well, I finally got around to it. ^.^ Happy, Mirriam?

Dear Vice:
I'm sorry for all the terrible planning I did for you. It was ugly of me. But I'm not really all that sorry.
Scream if I get too scary,
-Authoress.

Dear DOTK:
Ok. Don't know what to think. Or even if I should think. I'm just going to ignore the annoying wonderings. It's always worked before.
-Humph.

Dear Key,
Your death state is overwhelmingly cute.
 <3 nbsp="nbsp" p="p"> -Lest I spazz.

Dear Cayne,
You burnt marshmallow you.
 -Me.

Dearest Ministrel,
Come, whisk me away will you?
-Yours truly, forever and ever and ever.

Honorable Lord Summer,
I've had enough. Go on now, sir. Find some other soul who desires your warm embrace. For its not I. Me and Minstrel Fall shall be lovers forever.
-So deal with it and move it.

Dear Sandy,
My opinion of you matches Anakin's.
-Wacky FL girl

Dear Toto:
Kansas?
-Dorothy

Dear Xander,
You came quick, you'll be gone long, but you really have claimed a piece of my heart.
-Lithôniel

Dearest Narl,
To cry, or to laugh. To mourn or rejoice. To love or to hate. To pity or scorn. You do confuse me, Sirrah.
-I shall Grieve you all the same.

Dear Nathan Norrington Wright Moseley:
Come at me Bro.
-Miss Ready

Dear Lifegaurd:
Oh my goodness. I might've hidden in, but I almost had a fangirl moment. You looked shockingly like Finnick Odair. Just a few years older, and blond. But otherwise, you were him.
How's Annie?
-Normal Beach goer

Dear Readers:
And now I leave you to puzzle which is fictional, and which boy is real. And who symbolizes who, and who just symbolizes himself.
Signed with a dash and a squiggle, since I have to go hurry and start my History lesson. College. History lesson.
-This here Girl.
 

Dear Crew:

It is over. All over.  All done. No more.  We finished Star Trek Voyager. 

Dear Captain Janeway:

You remind me sometimes of me Mom.  You do what is right, even though it might hurt you, or those you love.  You are a great role model for anybody, but sadly...I think I'd go for a more...Kirk...way.  I'd be ruthless,brazen, and probably make more enemies in space then friends.

Sincerely, Wish-I-was-more-like-you.

Dear Seven:

You know, we all wish to be as smart as you.  And, I'll admit, it is fun trying to 'Walk like a Borg' like you do.  So straight, and  sure of your self.  But you really aren't sure. are you?  You're uncertain, confused at times.  I think in some ways we're alike, not many, but in some.  You hold a strong (but false) bravado, but underneath, you are not so sure, not so strong.

-Cordially, 1 of 9.

P.S Your lucky, ya know that? 

Dear Tom:

I simply love your idea to quit Star Fleet and become a Holonovel writer. It seems like a charming occupation.  And you know what?  I'd totally play your Holonovels.

Captain Proton forever, Ashley.

Dear B'Elanna:

you were my mirror.  you helped me recognized my inner Klingon. And you can more easily get rid of something once you know it is there.  But do I really want to shed the Klingon under self?  Like you, without her, I'm not whole.  I'm not me. B'Elanna, you really are my favorite character.

Qapla', Lt. Commander Ashley.

Dear Chakotay:

If I knew you, I'd let you take me on a vision quest, and find my animal guide.  It sounds very fun.  Even though I wouldn't put any weight in the animal (If it happened to be a Cow, I'm sorry. I'm not giving up steak).  Take care of Seven, ok?

Truly Yours, Maqui Me.

Dear Doc:

You are a close second after B'Elanna.  Me and you could have buckets of fun, singing Opera, being pessimistic, complaining...Playing around on the Holodeck...Yeah.  We'd have way to much fun. Way to much.

I always thought you were more human, Organic A.

 Dear Harry:

Listen buddy, I'm sorry you never got to be anything but an Ensign until the very end.  It isn't fair.  But, how many Ensigns get to command a Star Ship? Yeah? You're the only one I know.

Bye, Me, just Me,

Dear Tuvok:

Well...Good bye. 

Oh, and you ain't fooling no body, Mr. Vulcan.  You liked Neelix...sometimes.  And you dancing was priceless.. You shoudl do it more often.

Live long and Prosper, I'm-a-Lt.Commander-too.

 Dear Neelix:

I think we could all strive to be more like you.  And, honestly,cooking isn't so annoying..if I think of you while doing it. #justdon'ttellanybody.

But, I think your decision to leave Voyager, while the right thing, and probably the thing I would've done, was terrible.  Just terrible.

Never again, Chef Ashley.

Dear Kes:

Me and you could've been soul sisters, well, until you changed, but we could've been!   Oh, and, next time. Don't cut your hair. It looks better long and curly.

♥, Ashley.

And, to everybody else:
Icheb, Naomi, Ensign Wildman, The Borg Children, Borg Queen, All the Hirogen,

Live Long, Crew.



 

Don'tcha ever grow up

♫Your little hand's wrapped around my finger
And it's so quiet in the world tonight
Your little eyelids flutter cause you're dreaming
So I tuck you in, turn on your favorite night light
To you everything's funny, you got nothing to regret
I'd give all I have, honey
If you could stay like that

Oh darling, don't you ever grow up
Don't you ever grow up, just stay this little
Oh darling, don't you ever grow up
Don't you ever grow up, it could stay this simple
I won't let nobody hurt you, won't let no one break your heart
And no one will desert you
Just try to never grow up, never grow up

You're in the car on the way to the movies
And you're mortified your mom's dropping you off
At 14 there's just so much you can't do
And you can't wait to move out someday and call your own shots
But don't make her drop you off around the block
Remember that she's getting older too
And don't lose the way that you dance around in your pj's getting ready for school

Oh darling, don't you ever grow up
Don't you ever grow up, just stay this little
Oh darling, don't you ever grow up
Don't you ever grow up, it could stay this simple
No one's ever burned you, nothing's ever left you scarred
And even though you want to, just try to never grow up

Take pictures in your mind of your childhood room
Memorize what it sounded like when your dad gets home
Remember the footsteps, remember the words said
And all your little brother's favorite songs
I just realized everything I have is someday gonna be gone

So here I am in my new apartment
In a big city, they just dropped me off
It's so much colder that I thought it would be
So I tuck myself in and turn my night light on

Wish I'd never grown up
I wish I'd never grown up

Oh I don't wanna grow up, wish I'd never grown up
I could still be little
Oh I don't wanna grow up, wish I'd never grown up
It could still be simple
Oh darling, don't you ever grow up
Don't you ever grow up, just stay this little
Oh darling, don't you ever grow up
Don't you ever grow up, it could stay this simple
Won't let nobody hurt you
Won't let no one break your heart
And even though you want to, please try to never grow up
Oh, don't you ever grow up
Oh, never grow up, just never grow up♫

-Never grow up by Taylor Swift-

Never Grow up, Shiloh.  I might have a hard time showing it to you, but I really do love you with as much of my heart as I can give.

Darlin', don't you ever grow up, just this little.

~Addy~

ABC's of thankfullness

I'm going to compile this list, starting at A, and ending at Z, of all that I am thankful for.   Some letters may have more than one thing, why place limits on something such as this?

A

Annaruth, Apples, Autumn, Ayers family,

B

breakfasts every morning, Blogger, Birds,  Brian Jacques,  Books,

C

candy (secret, don't tell!) Chocolate, Cats, Comfort, Christ. Caleb Ayers (yes, even you KK, even though you ARE a jerk, and a pain in the rear end at times...like...last Tuesday...*glare*) Cinnamon rolls, {my} Characters,  Cats,  Candles,  Colors,  Chocolate Milk,

D

Daddy, dandelions, 

E

Evan, Eggs from our hens,  Eternity with Christ, Ella, Emily Obert, Email,

F

Family, flowers, Fashion sense, fantasy,  food everyday, 3 times a day, Faith, friends,  Facebook, Fast Food,

G

God!  Grace,  Grannie (even though she has passed), Grammar,

H

Home, harmony (at times, anyway) Health, Happiness, Hannah Redmond, Heaven, Hair (I'd hate being bald), Horses, 

I

Ice cream, Ice,  Imagination, Internet,  Imaginary Friends,

J

 Joanna Ayers, Joy, journals, 

K

 Kyla, Kayli Obert,  

L

love, laughter, lighting, lightNING,  lollipops, 

M

Mama,  money (I'm such a horrid girl),  Mushrooms, My own room,  Music,

N

Nana,Netflix,

O

Olives! Only thing I could think of with an 'o'

P

Popsicles,  Poppy,  Pens and pencils and Paper, Pets,

Q

Uh....Q...Q...what begins with Q....Ah! Q. I'm thankful for Q on Star Trek. I guess..., Questions,

R

Rabbits, Ruby,  Redwall,

S

Shiloh, Shauna, Silence at times, Star Trek, Star Wars, Sugar, Scentsy,

T

Titus, turquoise (because it is a pretty color), Technology, The Trinity,  Thunder Storms,

U

umbrellas,

V

vacations,

W

Water,  Writers,

  

X

Nothing here, unless Xylophones count, and I've never heard a Xylophone before!

Y

Yahweh,  

Z

Zeb,

Here is my list, and there is many more still! 

What are you thankful for?